My beautiful creature,
I think sometimes you forget. You forget why I call you that. You forget that we're both in the same boat. You forget that you're not the only one who finds the other one beautiful.
Why can't you take my admiration, huh?
Why can't you just sit there for a moment and believe, even if for a second, that I'm in awe when I look at you. That I find you handsome. That I could point out a dozen teeny tiny things on your face - just on your face - that make me smile. Stop for a second. Giggle a little bit.
Why can't you just accept that this is mutual?
It's not some sort of one sided thing. We talked about this. There might be some differences, but at the end of the day... It's not just you who likes talking to me. It's not just you who's day gets a little bit brighter because of that. It's we. Two letters. Two people. We.
Whatever applies to me... Applies to you too.
So just shut the fuck up and let yourself be loved, too. Not just love everything and everyone without an end.
Well, maybe not everything and everyone - I know you say you don't like people and what you do, and a lot of other things. See... The truth is that you do. You do like the good people. You do like that your job helps. You do enjoy company. I think it's maybe just years of putting yourself on the margin. To the side. Leaving the enjoyment to others.
Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I am.
I hope I am because I cannot stand the thought of you just... Observing. Because I'm sure - for some goddamn reason I'm sure - that you want to be in the middle of it. Boogie in the kitchen. Laugh. Tell weird jokes. Let yourself go a bit. Just.. Enjoy life. And for some reason you don't.
Please tell me I'm wrong. Please.
Because if not... I don't know. I'll do what I can to change that. To maybe take you places. To make you wiggle your toes to the beat of some cheesy song. To laugh out loud and bing your pipe into the metal pillar. To squint and roll your eyes in that adorable way you do while looking away at the same time.
See, you don't see all these things. You don't see them because you don't look at yourself. You don't think that you're beautiful because you don't fucking look.
So start looking, my dear.
Start looking.