My beautiful creature,
I know what the darkness feels like.
That's where I want to start today. I know what it is. I've spent years in it. Hiding, lurking, silent, trying to not attract any attention because it's dangerous to be seen. To want things. To feel alone and not worthy of anything.
I still feel like that. Every day. I guess I just learned to tune it out. To focus on other things, like helping, and making people smile, feel seen and heard because I'd never want anyone to go through what I went through. I don't want anyone to ever feel alone.
I'm going to get you out of your box.
And then burn it with a flamethrower.
You say that nobody needs to see 'this creature'. Maybe you're right. Maybe nobody needs to see it - just like they don't need a lot of things, like a Jesus blow-up sex doll with a fox tail buttplug that's tossed in the set for the users convenience.
They don't need to, but I want to, and you can't talk me out of this one.
You know that I don't like bullshit and strive for the truth, honesty, and openness. Well here it is.
Your anger, jealousy, rage, lust are human, not only the good and acceptable parts. They make you who you are. Somehow you forget that we're all animals. We're all beasts in our own right. Smart ones, cleverly hiding behind social norms, workplace etiquette, written and presumed laws, and, above all, culture. But we are beasts. Our emotions could wreck worlds, our rage could destroy mountains, and lust - set the world on fire.
And it's OK. Because that's who we are. We just forget it sometimes.
And your baggage... Now I know. And I'm going to take it away from you. At least for a moment, if you'll allow me. I already have a plan on how to do it.
Believe it or not, constantly flying between two countries makes you a master in luggage dragging.
You know what, I really want to meet your friend. I want him to look at me, point and say that this is a delusion. That this crazy, immature girl is tearing you apart, because that's what this feels like. To come in out of nowhere and knock the ground from beneath your feet, make you doubt, feel guilty, frustrated, hate yourself. That's how I feel most of the time. Guilty. Ashamed, even if this wasn't intentional, for God's sake. This is the last thing any of us wanted or needed.
At the end of the day it doesn't matter. It's too late.
What's not too late, what's worthy to do is dealing with that baggage. And I'm going to take as much of it off your hands as I can. You're in my tiny bubble now, so just sit with me inside it for a moment and look at all the colourful, petrol-like swirls floating on its membrane.
Auroras are rare where we live, but this is the closest to it we can get.
So maybe, just maybe let's enjoy it.
Even if it's for a split second.