My beautiful, handsome creature,
Do you have any idea how handsome you are? I want to tell you this every time I see you, and all I can do is try to contain my smile. Try to play it cool. And I'm failing miserably, aren't I?
I'm quite ok at writing, yet so terrible at speaking out loud.
I like this weird, carefree dance that's in full swing right now. I like playfully stepping on your feet. I like you gleefully kicking mine. I try to resist gently pushing your knee with my foot when you're talking with someone else and not paying attention to me, knocking you off ballance. And yet I see you shaking - almost always - and just don't have the heart to do it. Telling this to you now isn't going to help my strategy now, is it?
I adore you like this - giddy, with a naughty glint in your stare, your eyelids slightly fluttering every time when you think of something... Naughty.
Did you think I didn't notice?
And then you show me your work: some needing some... work, some being absolutely brilliant, and some - naughty as hell. And I can't help but smile.
God it makes me so, so happy to see you like this, like today - happy. Happy? Is that the right word? Relatively calm? Somewhat relaxed? Playful?
I hope that the nightmares have stopped. If not, I hope that they at least have a happier ending.
I wrap myself around the thought of you when I'm drifting asleep. I send out my tiny, useless bubble of warmth to you every night in hopes that you wouldn't wake up at 3am. That when you finally open your eyes at that damned 5am (jesus that's early), a small smile would already be there.
And I really hope that tomorrow will be similar. That I'll get to see those tiny dimples shift in your cheeks - they're probably called something different, but I just don't know the words in this strange, strange language. I want to touch them none the less. I keep stuttering, loosing my train of thought when I see you.
I hum more.
You make me want to draw just so I could give my doodles to you.
This is a short one, a few words before I wind down. I hope they serve you as well as me - as a reminder that there still are good days. That there's happiness and softness in all this.
That you make me smile, and I hope I do the same to you.
That maybe, just maybe, the nightmares will pass, too.